I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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