Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
