words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
