I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
