I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
