I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
