We're like a lot better than the average bears
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
