But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
