People in love make me want to vomit
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
