I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
