I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
