Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
