yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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