I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just blew my weed a kiss
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
