Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
