While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
