Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
