When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
