Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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