Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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