he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize