I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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