I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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