I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
