I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
