Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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