Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
