But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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