It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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