only you would photoshop your dick
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
