Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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