I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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