I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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