I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
His nipple licking is glorious
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