i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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