why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
