I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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