Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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