can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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