i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
