She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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