shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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