she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
