Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
They took my balls.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
