yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
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His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Enjoy the penises
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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