Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize