is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
