I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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