the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
