just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Drake has all the answers
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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