If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
