I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
