oh god the rape fog is back!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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