She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
