i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Holy shit dude........stairs
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