ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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