i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
